Homeschool Answer Book: “Help! I Feel Like We’re Falling Behind!”

Audio By Carbonatix

By Tricia Goyer

It’s the middle of the school year, and if my inbox is any indication, there is a collective panic sweeping through the homeschool community right now. The Christmas decorations are up (or maybe they’re still getting there—no judgment!), and the reality of the lesson planner is setting in.

I recently received this note from a mom, and it broke my heart because I have been there so many times:

“Dear Tricia, everyone else seems to be wrapping up their semester perfectly, but we are still stuck on chapters from October. I feel like we are failing. I look at the calendar, and I just want to cry. How do I catch up when we are so far behind?”

Can I just reach through the screen and give you a hug?

I have been homeschooling for over thirty years. I have graduated seven children, and I still have three at home. Do you know how many years I finished exactly “on schedule” according to the color-coded planner I made in August?

Zero.

The feeling of “falling behind” is the ghost that haunts almost every homeschool mom. But here is the truth I want to share with you today: You cannot fall behind on your own journey.

The Myth of “Behind”

Who are you behind? The public school down the street? Your sister-in-law who posts perfect craft projects on Instagram? The imaginary version of yourself who doesn’t need sleep?

When we bring our children home to learn, we step out of the assembly line and into a custom-tailored education. The beauty of homeschooling is that it bends to fit the child; the child doesn’t have to break to fit the system.

If you are “stuck” on a math concept for three weeks, you aren’t “behind”—you are parenting. You are ensuring your child actually understands the material rather than just pushing them forward to satisfy a calendar date. That isn’t failure; that is success.

3 Ways to Shake the Guilt This Week

If you are staring at your planner with a pit in your stomach, here is my prescription from The Homeschool Answer Book.

1. Count the “Invisible” Schooling

Did you bake cookies? That’s fractions and chemistry. Did you write thank-you cards? That’s penmanship and composition. Did you navigate a sibling conflict? That’s conflict resolution (and frankly, harder to teach than algebra).

We often discount “life learning” because there isn’t a worksheet attached to it. Stop doing that. It all counts.

2. Ditch the “Catch Up” Mentality

Trying to cram three months of missed history lessons into two weeks of January is a recipe for tears—yours and theirs.

Instead of trying to “catch up,” just re-calibrate. Look at where you are right now. Is the curriculum serving you, or are you serving the curriculum? It is okay to cross out chapters. It is okay to skip the “busy work” and focus on the core concepts.

3. Choose Relationship Over Rigor

I have never met a homeschool graduate who said, “I really wish my mom had yelled more about finishing that science diorama.”

I have met many who said, “I’m so glad my mom took the time to listen to me.”

If pushing through the lesson is destroying the peace in your home, stop. Close the book. Make a cup of cocoa. Read a story together. The relationship is the bridge that all learning crosses. If the bridge is broken, the truckload of facts won’t get across anyway.

A Note for the Weary Mom

Mama, you are doing a better job than you think.

God entrusted these children to you, not because you are a perfect teacher, but because you are their mother. He knew you would have bad days. He knew you would get the flu or have a toddler who wouldn’t nap. He chose you anyway.

Take a deep breath. Close the planner. Look at those faces. You aren’t behind; you are right where you are supposed to be.

Resources for Your Journey

• For the “Am I Doing This Right?” moments: Check out my book Homeschool Basics — it’s like having two mentors in your back pocket for those panic moments.
• For finding your rhythm: Read Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom to help juggle the chaos.
• For all things homeschool: Check out The Homeschool Answer Book!